MILLION WAYS TO PRAISE YOUR CHILD
September 1, 2016
Ever wonder how does your child feel whenever she hears praises from parents? This is very vital when it comes to their personality. This will give your child her core values. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about making your child that boastful or too confident it gets annoying sometimes.
Balance in everything is the key. You can always tell them when to stop or just acknowledge her when she’s doing really well. I have read some advices from professionals stating that, praising your child whenever they did something even that simple would make them effortless of striving to do more. I also agreed with what it says that, you should be very specific when it comes to praises, state the things that needed improvement and praise the best things she or he did right. Always end your words by saying, “good job.”
Take this for example; I have this 3 year old daughter who’s very active and extra playful. She wasn’t always like that, we have observed that she changed when I started noticing all her progress and being extra cheerful for all her interests. I just love when she’s exploring and wanting to learn random things. She have this such lovely attitude of being to thoughtful (yes she shares her food to everyone, even before eating it.) She developed her habbit of praying before eating. She totally adopted good traits we wanted her to learn. Whenever she did something annoying, I tell her right away. Her father is very strict when it comes to table manners, she actually eats fast whenever her daddy is around. Most kids, take their food 30 minutes or more inside their mouth before swallowing totally. It’s just a good thing that she thinks that she should not do it for her father might get angry. This is a good thing, for we eat lunch fast and she happen to eat any veggies we serve her. Hooray for healthy eating.
I love my kids. My kids are my joy. A lot of things are happening around but I learned to get by because I believe my kids need me, focused and always loving. I feel that they are sad whenever I am so I want to uplift them whenever I can. I believe God has given us kids for a reason and we should all appreciate and love them dearly. They are our responsibility but God wants us to see them through, as our offspring whom we should pass on the good manners and faith on to.
My mom advised me to just, hang on with life and just take it easy in parenting. Just teach my kids good manners and most importantly, fear of the Lord.
I love it when my kids see us as their hero and bestfriend. Backing them up whenever they needed to and telling them the best advices we know in life. In that way, I know they will feel loved and cared for.
July 25, 2016
Brought to you by LA Solar Panel Experts “POWERSUN”, who know that shining light on family is number one.
When it comes down to it, the most profound way to change your child’s life is to be loving, accepting and kind.
Not only does this do wonders for your child’s behavior in an immediate sense, but she or he will benefit for their ENTIRE LIFE.
Think of the struggles and challenges you face in your OWN adult life. Are they related to work? Romantic partners? Health? Ask yourself WHY you suffer. If you take a few minutes to do this, you might come to the conclusion that the answer is FEAR.
Fear that you are not good enough. Fear that you have to compete. Fear that you won’t be loved.
Our lizard, reptilian brains needed to have these fears, and today, when you’re being chased by a hungry lion or some other immediate physical threat. The rest of the time, these fears are unfounded. Fear makes us clench, makes our minds shut down and our hearts close. These conditions are not ideal for coming up with long-term solutions to insidious problems.
For many of us, these fears come from epigenetic programing. That is to say, they were passed down through the generations. Our great great great… etc… grandparents had to be so afraid to survive that our bodies and souls are wired to function as they did!
But there is hope.
Today, as ancient wisdom traditions are being reintroduced into modern consciousness, we have access to tools that heal us of these dis-eased patterns. We have yoga, meditation, reiki, sound baths, natural medicines and guides who help us to use them properly, books on zen and tantra, renewed appreciation for the environment, ancestral diets, and more!!
Possibly the most potent of all healing tools is unconditional love. And possibly the most powerful time to practice this is with those closest to you. If these people are young children, they have yet to form ideas about how the world works and what to expect. Yes, they will be affected by epigenetics, but if you practice unconditional love in the form of patience, gentleness, affection, respect of boundaries, encouragement, guidance, honesty and a sense of humor, then not only are you providing a positive new pattern, but you will be helping to heal the old patterns in their genes.
And as you do this for them, you will be healed, too.
So give yourself a gift. Heal your child through love. The universe will thank you.
KEEP YOUR CHILD AWAY FROM DRUGS
July 18, 2016
Does your current work or business keep you from keeping watch on your children’s activities after school or during summer months? You better think and decide how to balance your priorities.
Research confirms that kids are less likely to get into trouble when a responsible adult is watching them. In a study published by the American Academy of Pediatrics, researchers found that kids who are unsupervised by a responsible adult for ten hours a week are more likely to get into trouble. For parents who can’t be home with their kids after school, Dr.Phillippe Cunningham, a Research Scientistat the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences Medical University of South Carolina, suggests taking the following actions:
Make every effort to ensure that your child is spending time in constructive, adult-supervised activities: Encourage your child to get involved in sports, jobs, clubs, extra-curricular activities, and religious youth groups. If your kids have to be at home, make sure they are working on homework or doing chores- not hanging out with friends.
At all times, know where your children are, who they are spending time with, and how you can reach them.
Have your kids check in with you at regular intervals. Instruct them to return your call or text you within 5 minutes after your text message. Randomly check that your kids are where they say they are through GPS and other mobile apps.
When you get the chance to be with your child, take advantage of that time to really bond with him or her. Even if you don’t get home from work until fairly late at night, try to catch up with your child by spending the rest of the evening in a meaningful conversation.
Know what your kids are watching on television and surfing on the internet.
Know your kids’ activities on social media.
Tell them stories about the consequences of using drugs. Establish clear rules about it and make your children promise not to use it or get involved in it- ever.
By genuinely involving yourself in your child’s life, you can help him or her stay away from bad company.
WHEN YOU SHAME YOUR CHILD
July 16, 2016
Do you often belittle or shame your child? Do you know that this may cause lasting psychological damage?
Parents knowingly or unknowingly damage their children through the following:
- Belittling, shaming, or exploiting
- Terrorizing, such as threatening violence against them or a loved one
- Denying emotional responsiveness, such as rejecting or denying affection
- Acting inconsistently, for example by making contradictory or unrealistic demands
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics’ (AAP), physical wounds heal, but psychological scars can last a lifetime.
Moreover, children who are mistreated are at greater subsequent risk of suffering a variety of ailments, including depression and suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem, impulse control problems, substance abuse problems, antisocial behaviour, delinquency, learning impairments and poor health.
The AAP encourages parents to put themselves in their child’s shoes and try to reinforce positive behaviour rather than to criticize negative behaviour. According to Dr. Johnson, the way to shape behaviour is to reward what you want to see. Parents need to shower their children with praises and kisses rather than harsh criticism.
UNLEASHING THE POWER TO KEEP YOUR CHILD EXCELLING
July 15, 2016
Every child needs positive responses to his or her work. When hugging your child, it’s as if you are transmitting energy straight into his soul. You can hug your child with words as well as with your arms.
Once you recognize your child’s unique abilities, and once you identify the environment best suited for the expression of those abilities, there is still another factor necessary for successful flight: the proper wind conditions to keep your child soaring.
The wind that keeps children in the air is their parents’ positive responses to the use of the child’s natural abilities. The more positive acknowledgement given, the more freedom children feel to use their wings, and the more they are used, the stronger they become.
The right response evokes feelings of accomplishment and success and eagerness to try again. The wrong response evokes feelings of failure and fear of ever trying again.
Some of us grew up in environments where no one ever acknowledged that we did well. Most comments were connected to what we did wrong. But negative words are like salt on a bird’s feathers. They are weights that keep children and adults alike earth-bound, afraid to flex for fear of being reproved.
Words of affirmation are essential, foundational, and vital. But they are NOT words of reward. Here is where the psychological jargon sometimes gets in our way. In an attempt to build our child’s self-esteem, we often mistake words of affirmation for words of reward.
Affirmation is different from rewards. Affirmations are general, given on principle; they are hugs that provide comfort. Rewards are specific, given in recognition of accomplishment, they are hugs that inspire.
Rewards may be verbal or physical. The verbal ones may be addressed directly to the child or spoken to a neighbour within earshot of the child. In either case they relate to an activity your child has been involved in; they are statements that recognize the quality of his or her work or play. Here are a few examples of words of rewards:
- You did a fine job dressing yourself today
- Wow! You finished every one of the chores on your list.
- This card you made for me made me cry.
- I am going to put this drawing you made up here so everyone can see it.
- You used wonderful colours on that drawing.
- You learned that piece of music quickly
All these reward statements have one thing in common. Everyone is connected to something the child did while using his or her natural abilities. Now, here are some examples of words of affirmation:
- I love you.
- You are important to me.
- You are a good brother.
- You are my sweetheart.
- You are wonderful.
Do you see now the difference?
Rewards have an instant effect. Statements about the quality and value of what your son is attempting or your daughter is building provide the energy and enthusiasm necessary for them to soar and to excel more.
Try it. Children worn out from work or play will react to words of rewards as if you’d given them an energy transfusion. But, when do you give these rewards?
Whenever a child does good work. Instead of commenting first on that one low score in your child’s report card, you can use that opportunity to encourage him or her to do more by commending her for the high grades your child got in other school subjects. After doing so, that’s the only time you can talk about the low score he or she got in another subject. Your child needs to hear both. He or she will continue to excel only if the words of reward are at least as powerful as those of rebuke.
Here are some excellent tips on how to reward your child:
- Look for opportunities
If rewarding each other for good work came naturally we wouldn’t be talking about it here. Many of you already understand the need to reward your child but find it difficult to remember to do so. It takes discipline. But remember, the most important rewards your child receives will come from your mouth. Be aware of every detail in your child’s activity so that the rewards you give are real, reflecting something he or she has actually done. In other words, be sincere. Kids know the difference.
- Be consistent
Reward your child consistently. That means at least every week. Preferably everyday. A once-in-a-while reward pattern will help neither you nor your child. As you discover the special rewards your child needs to stay aloft, you become the “keeper” of those rewards. You hold the power to motivate, inspire, and send your child soaring into the skies when he or she will fly the highest, the farthest, and the longest. How sad when rewards are held back or not given at all… and how weak and brittle unused wings can become.
- Avoid negative rewards
Do you know that you possess the power to wound your child deeply?
- Those colours don’t go together
- You eat as if there’s no tomorrow
- I should have cleaned your room instead
- The nose of that elephant in your drawing looks crooked
Be careful. Negative words do more than rob you of the opportunity to infuse your child with enthusiasm. They actually squeeze energy from your child like a wine press squeezes juice from an apple; negative words leave your child limp and lifeless. We discourage our children in this way more than we thin. Parents who heard mostly negative comments about themselves while growing up are particularly vulnerable to this behaviour.
- Reward your child face-to-face.
We’ve all said this when scolding our child; “Look at me when I’m talking to you!” There’s a reason for this. Something special happens when two people look at each other eye to eye. And something significant is sacrificed when you or your child turns away. How do you say “I love you” without looking at your child? Our eyes truly are the window of our souls. So when you reward your child, don’t do it as he rushes through the kitchen or as she heads out the front door. Stop for a moment and face your child. Look into her eyes until you truly see her. Look into his eyes until your souls are connected. Then tell your child what he or she has done that is good and why it is good. Rewards given face-to-face are the most precious of all.
- Reward your child’s work.
Keep the distinction clear between affirmation and rewards. Continue to affirm with loving words, but remember: rewards are essential because they are always connected to work or play, something your child actually did. Your attention to the details here can go a long way toward keeping your child excelling.
- Display your child’s work.
Create a space to show her work. A shelf, a refrigerator door, a wall-displaying a child’s work provides opportunities for meaningful rewards.
- Schedule your child’s rewards.
If you keep a calendar, pencil in one or two times each week when you will reward your child, keep track of things during the week that deserve commendation. Remember that the rewards you give will restore, encourage, refresh, and motivate your child to stronger, healthier patterns of excelling.
- Keep it simple.
One last but extremely important tip: Be specific and sweetly simple. It takes only a few well-placed, touching words to keep that kid of yours soaring high and happy.
- That was a wise decision.
- That woman appreciated you holding her hand while crossing the street.
- You sure did that fast!
- Those colours you chose match perfectly.
- How did you figure out how to put that together without anyone telling you?
- You did a wonderful job completing everything on that list.
- How did you come up with such a creative idea?
- You picked up all your toys the first time I asked.
- You did so well I think I can trust you to do this.
- I saw you go up to that new girl and say hi. That was really nice.
- I can’t believe you pulled that off!
- I love the way you colour-coordinated your socks in your drawer.
- Knives on the right, forks on the left. Perfect.
- Are you the one who left that candy on my pillow?
- I think I can use that pencil-holder you made in school right here.
To help you start rewarding your child, do the following exercise. Choose an event or activity in which you child recently invested lots of his or her energy.
- Journal your child’s story noting the abilities your child used.
- Use the story to help figure out what reward he or she might appreciate.
- Think of the perfect reward words that will express to your child your appreciation for his or her efforts. Then use them.
WHEN REWARDS BECOME DANGEROUS
A lot of misbehaviour occurs when children try hard to do something at inappropriate times or in inappropriate places. And now a new piece to the puzzle: Rewards can come from inappropriate people. Just as there are dangerous “places,” there are dangerous rewards.
Children naturally look for rewards. Rewards are the wind beneath their wings-wind that is necessary for staying aloft. And if you don’t provide your child with that wind someone else will.
Your child wants to stay airborne. The temptation to fly on the wind of rewards from the wrong people or at the wrong time or in the wrong place is real and it is powerful. The overriding need for encouragement can cause a child to form damaging relationships and do unhealthy things. Sometimes even when you are offering better ones at home. It is less likely to happen, however, if you are rewarding your child at home. Properly rewarded children are better equipped to withstand ill-winds that threaten to push them off course.
Fill your child’s wings with encouragement. Show him what he does well. Remind her a thousand times and then another thousand times that her abilities have value. Erase forever your child’s need to have others provide this crucial dynamic.
Rewarding your child is a privilege. No one else will ever take your place if you fill this responsibility carefully.
FINDING THE PLACES WHERE YOU CAN DISCOVER YOUR CHILD’S TALENTS & SKILLS
July 14, 2016
Children have innate abilities that amaze even their parents. Unfortunately, these abilities often go unrecognized because parents misinterpret them. Environment is so important to his or her work and play. Environment doesn’t mean an atmosphere of love and acceptance. It is more specific. Because of the unique abilities your child was born to express, he or she moves with greater freedom and more enthusiasm in some places than in others.
Some places stimulate our children’s wings into flight. Other places inhibit them.
When we recognize and steer our children toward the places where they are at their best, where they find joy in work and play, they will spread their wings and soar with little or no flapping.
And for every child, the places are different. What might these places be?
- Caring Places
Where you can observe your child demonstrate his/her interest in caring for others
- Fast-paced Places
Where you can observe your child how he/she moves from one activity to another and whether he/she stays interested in one thing very long.
- Hands-off Places
Where you can observe your child have his/her own space where no one bothers him/her and where he/she can keep all his/her stuff.
- Creative Places
Where you can observe your child’s ability to create and structure his/her environment according to some inner vision he/she has.
- Structured Places
Where you can observe how your child behaves in a place where there is clear guidelines or set rules.
- Interactive Places
Where you can spot your child’s need to be a part of the lives of others. Do you see your child seems lost when she/he is by himself/ herselfor would be more active in mingling with other children?
- New/Versatile Places
This is a place or a situation where you are able to find out if your child is easily bored by the ordinary and is always seeking for something new and exciting or he/she hates anything routine and avoids it.
- Free Places
A place or a situation where you will discover whether your child wants to be free and be his or her own boss and can rearrange things the way he/she likes them without being helped by anyone.
- Encouraging Places
A place where you can observe how your child responds to encouraging or discouraging words from people or situations. For example in a sports team where he can be the center of attention and his performance can be subject to critique or appreciation.
- Developmental Places
A place where you can discover your child’s love to build things and get physically involved in a project.
- Different Places
A situation or a place where you can observe your child if he or she likes to try out new ways of doing old tasks. For example, does your child spend a lot of time putting together different outfits to wear to school? Or does your child tries other routes to walk his dog?
- Adventurous Places
A place where you can discover your child’s love for thrill and adventure. For example, climbing a tree, jumping off a cliff, etc.
- Challenging Places
A place where you can observe your child’s response to challenging situations. Does he love it when people say he can’t do something? Does it give him a thrill to prove them wrong?
- Scripted Place
A place where you can see your child play “pretend”. Does she enjoy playing a role of a teacher or a mommy or someone else?
Places. There are all kinds of them for all kinds of kids. Your child is naturally, subconsciously pulled toward some and not others. Watch them closely and write down your observations on a journal. Ask yourself the following questions:
- In what type of places did my child work or play most comfortabley and naturally?
- Which places are the most difficult to provide?
- Which places am I the most fearful or disapproving of? Why?
Sometimes children thoroughly puzzle us. Think of one action your child has done recently that you can’t explain. Maybe it’s something she does all the time. Maybe it’s something he’s just begun doing or has done once.
These children are all doing what comes naturally to them, in their own unique way. In fact, many go out of their way to find places to do them. By noting the places your son or daughter gravitates toward, you can predict what he or she might do. Your child’s activity might surprise you, maybe confuse you, but if you let it, it will definitely inform you.
KIDS WHO ARE MATHEMATICALLY CHALLENGED
June 3, 2016
Insufficient iron intake can result not only in anemia or the condition of inadequate number of red blood cells, but may also affect a child’s ability to learn, this is according to a recent study in Pediatrics.
Kids with an iron deficiency were more than twice as likely to perform below average on standardized math tests, compared with their iron-sufficient counterparts.
Teenage girls, who are at an even higher risk of anemia and iron deficiency due to their monthly cycle and insufficient diets, were at an increased risk of learning problems associated with iron deficiency when compared with boys.
So, don’t let your children lag behind in terms of iron intake. Bone up on iron-rich foods such as clams, turkey breast, raisin bran, whole wheat bread, tofu, liver, oysters and legumes including chickpeas, kidney beans and lentils.